For my first post I'd like to make special note of something deep and meaningful. That's why I've decided to complain about this fucking itch on my arm. It's just above the inside of my elbow, so it constantly looks like I'm scratching like a heroin addict. On top of that, I spend a lot of time behind my computer, so naturally my elbow remains bent for typing. As a result, moisture tends to accumulate, causing further itchiness. There's a red rash-like spot from all the scratching; it's annoying to no end.
Why must my life be such an eternal hellfire? I'll tell you why: I'm an atheist, and GOD ALMIGHTY hates atheists. "Who is this God?" you may ask. From what I understand, He is a magical gnome who lives in the sky and simultaneously beneath it. This concept may seem like a paradox, but considering the world is a cube, the gravitational pull of squirrels offsets spatial dimensions in a particular way such that everything which exists may exist in exactly 1.999 states and vectors simultaneously. That 0.001 remaining dimensional vector is what funnels into the arm of atheists, who have been deemed paradox beacons for their lack thereof.
Another thing I'd like to quickly mention is meat glue. You may be thinking this is what supermarkets use to pass off cheap scraps of meat as prime cut; and you would be right. What you may not know is that meat glue is 99% semen. How does the food industry get away with feeding millions with semen? Well, it's the simple fact that ALL legislators are openly consuming semen by the gallon. Apparently a mere shot glass of semen down the gullet is so high in Omega-3 Fatty Acids that it will immediately increase your IQ by 0.5 points. One may easily speculate as to the semen farms currently being kept secret deep in the earth's core, perpetually pumping meat glue intravenously into Stephen Hawking's withered body.
Tell me, what's
the statistic for baby deaths due to unintentional neglect? I don't know
the number, but I can tell you it's probably not very high. Why are
parents becoming so anal about the health of their babies? Let me tell
you something: natural selection exists for a reason. IF YOUR BABY CAN'T
BREATHE, IT WASN'T DESIGNED FOR LIVING. All you are doing is
perpetuating your bad gene pool. Don't be like the British royal family.
All we are doing in today's society is forcing the extension of failed
life, to create broken shells of what was once human for the majority to
support until the grave. A nursing home should not be your life's goal.
Live it up until you're not meant to anymore.
And what's the deal with airline food? It's gone for fuck's sake.
Doesn't exist any longer. When I was a kid, going on an airplane was
fun. I could take knives on board. They would play games in the aisles;
hold contests. Food was... well, it was like a frozen dinner. Today...
well it sucks. We all know how. I'm not going to go on and on about it.
Just want to remind everyone of what was. REVOLT. If my profile weren't
being targeted by the U.S. government, I'd suggest violence. Because it
is, I suggest a stern letter to your congressman detailing your ires.
If you're still reading this, blah turkey baster. Blah raising phoenix turds in Rhode Island. Jiffy pop blah tits and ass. Racism is making a comeback. George Clooney has a chia pet of Brad Pitt's testicles he prays to before roman candle fights. Abortions will steer traffic to my blog, thanks to the Catholic church, which also does so. Blah blah tootsie rolls in my rectum blah.
