Shit's getting serious...

Yesterday I learned that a mere 63.14% of infants born in the United States posses a soul. And of the other 36.86%? As it turns out, their bodies are normally left to the elements, in the fashion of the Spartans. Many die within days, exposure, hungry animals, and necrophiliac pedophiles being the leading causes of mortality. There is a small percentage, however, who defy odds (or rather, account for Darwinism), who make it. What happens to these soulless creatures, out in the wild with nothing but a soggy diaper and a Satanic talisman to protect them? Until recently few could say for sure, and those with the knowledge had scarcely the means to communicate the ordeal. But thanks to German anthropologist, Hershel Scheizfhurer, scientists have gleamed information that very well alter our notion of existence as we know it.

The process begins with a sacrifice. After dark, upon the rising of the full moon, the goat people will emerge from the shadows, bearing daggers and spears of bone, as well as large bags of sinewy netting. After stalking their prey in groups of 5-10, they will return to their hidden villages with their prizes of these soulless babies, which they refer to as Kruu'Gthxar. Normally the Kruu'Gthxar are quite weak at this point, and provide little resistance (the weapons more of a ceremonial instrument, harkening back to the days when roaming demons would compete for the valuable commodity).

[to be continued...]

...

Yes, I am that lazy.

In the meantime, karma!